


Fucking Superb, You Funky Little Cowboy

by LokianaWinchester



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Memes, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 06:18:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15136955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokianaWinchester/pseuds/LokianaWinchester
Summary: The idea was that the phrase Fucking superb, you funky little cowboy leads to their relationship... so here's that,





	Fucking Superb, You Funky Little Cowboy

Since they had discovered the computer and how to use it, their nights had become so much more fun. Of course they had had fun before but even driving around in a car with a dinosaur bone tied to it had its limits when it came to fun. The computer, so it seemed to them, had no limits. They quickly learned to do anything. Sometimes they would spend hours sitting on the left button of the mouse, directing Octavius’ soldiers to push them around; the end result being an extremely unflattering but still scarily accurate drawing of Larry’s face.

Sometimes browse google for hours on end to look for things they had always wanted to know. Sometimes they would curl up on the mousepad and watch movies.

Since they had become friends, life was better for both of them, Octavius thought. Even back when they had been routinely fighting, the two of them had hit it off, although in another sense. Now their rivalry had faded accompanied by the realisation that they could do great things if they channelled the energy that had previously gone into fighting into a common goal.

And on top of that, Octavius realised that he really liked Jedediah. Sometimes when he looked over at him during an emotional movie scene and saw tears glinting in the corners of his eyes, he was overcome with so much fondness, that it baffled him how it took them so long to get over their differences. And the more time passed, the more Octavius began to associate Jed with positive things. This eventually led to him feeling happy and giddy whenever the cowboy was around, no matter the circumstances. It was ridiculous, really. But he could not help his feelings.

And then they discovered memes and on top of everything the two of them exclusively shared, they now had a secret language. It was great, because not only did they bond even more over memes, but could also turn about every situation into a joke. There was nothing more entertaining in Octavius’ world than laughing with Jedediah. They kept up with memes religiously, participating eagerly by making their own night after night.

But like all good things, their fun came to an end. Their adventure in London had been many things; thrilling, confusing, heart-breaking even, but for Octavius it was more. It was eye-opening.

Flying down that vent, near death, words left his lips unprompted.

“Take my hand.”

When they fell to the ground, cleaning the dust off of themselves, he realised what he had just said. And then he realised what this meant. It was not good.

“What did you just say?” Jed had heard of course. Of course.

“Nothing.” He looked away. The urge to hug Jed overcame him, but he pushed it down. It would definitely send the wrong message. He was not in love with Jed. He could not be. He just wanted to spend every moment of his life with him and die gloriously by his side. He wanted to hold him close and hold his hand and maybe kiss him.

Octavius’ mind came to an abrupt halt. He was in love with Jed after all.

But then they nearly died again which at the same time took Octavius’ mind off his problem and made it all the more obvious. He was really very much in love with Jed. It hurt him to know that the cowboy would never reciprocate his feelings, but he was too busy trying not to die to worry much about it.

But then it hurt more because Jed asked to hold his hand and while his gloved palm settled into his own, Octavius felt himself weaken with every breath he took. This was both exactly and not at all the way he wanted to die.

For one thing, he was with Jed, like he always wanted to be. But then Jed had taken his hand and it opened up so many questions. Octavius was not ready to let go.

So he did not. Then he could breathe again, when they were saved, he thanked Jupiter for this second chance at life.

Going back to New York was quite the experience. They were all very aware of the fact that they would probably never come to life again. Octavius wanted to tell Jed about his feelings, but the other man seemed distracted.

All he got was a hug goodbye.

The last thing he felt before the sun rose, was regret.

And to that regret he came back to life.

Back to life? He looked around hectically. How much time had passed? Everything looked slightly different.

He barely had time to register everything, before something solid crashed into him, knocking him over.

“Jedediah?”

“Three years! It’s been three years. The night guard lady from London, remember? She came and told me. Well I wouldn’t stop asking but, Oct! Three years!”

Octavius blinked slowly. This was not what he had expected. Then he realised how happy Jed was to see him even though the passage of time had not influenced them. Octavius wrapped his arms around Jed and in that moment the unease he had apparently held for three years, faded.

Jed’s behaviour was changed. It was slight, Octavius was not sure if anybody else noticed, but he sure did. He was not sure what it was, that had changed Jed, but he was fairly sure that he was not just him, who was different.

But they found their way back into their routine. The computer was naturally the first place to go. And memes the first thing to look up. The next time Octavius came alive, his stomach was hurting from how much they had laughed.

There was one meme that especially grabbed Jed’s attention. Like with everything it took several times of seeing it to realise it was more than a good shitpost. Fucking superb, you funky little lesbian… Fucking superb, you funky little doggo… Fucking superb, you funky little cowboy.

“I’ll kiss anybody who says that to me,” Jed blurted out in a fit of laughter. At first Octavius was not sure he had heard that correctly, but Jed’s laughter died down quickly and he looked away awkwardly, which made it pretty clear that he had.

They did not speak of it again, but it stayed on Octavius’ mind throughout the weeks of Ahkmenrah’s stay.

The last night was party night. Everybody had enormous fun, but it was with a note of sadness and melancholy. They were not going to see each other for a long time.

Dancing relieved the stress, Octavius found; apparently so did Jed and soon the two of them were dancing, forgetting the rest of the world. It was then that the words echoed more clear than ever before in Octavius’ mind, when Jed struck an overly dramatic final pose grinning at him, he could not hold himself back.

“Fucking superb, you funky little cowboy!” The music stopped in that moment. Octavius’ voice was clearly audible to everybody within meters. Nobody seemed to notice or care, except for Jed, whose grin became wider, before it vanished altogether. He visibly swallowed, before stepping closer. The music started up again, but it was far in the background. Octavius barely noticed it.

“Well, I guess, I got a promise to keep,” Jed said. His voice was lost inaudible over the loud music and yet Octavius hear every word.

“Yeah.” He was not sure any sound left his lips.

The cowboy walked up to him and before Octavius knew what was happening, Jed’s lips were pressed against his own.

He acted without thinking when he threw his arms around Jed, deepening the kiss. But when his mind caught up with his actions, he froze. Jed pulled back.

“Oh,” he said. There was no way for Octavius to know if it was a good or a bad ‘oh’.

“I’m sorry,” Octavius mumbled. The possibility of it being a good ‘oh’ was frighteningly small.

“No, no. No, don’t be sorry, that’s –”

He did not finish. But he did move and when their lips were pressed together again, all the tension seemed to leave Octavius’ body. All the worries he had had for over three years, or a few weeks realistically, shrunk away and he was left feeling light, as if he could fly, held down only by Jed’s arms. When they broke apart again, it was his turn to say ‘oh’.

Jed laughed, and Octavius knew he could do it. He would not mind not being alive for years, he would not mind the passing of time he could have potentially spent with Jed.

He would not mind because he had this sound to come back to, this feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> I know the dialogue that's in the movie is not right, but hey... Hope you still liked it. Kudos and comments are highly appreciated :)


End file.
